La Petite Mort
by ShisouEimin
Summary: "I don't want to die a virgin, Kendall! How sucky would that be?" Warnings: Unestablished relationship, first time sex, slight AU to BT Guru


**Disclaimer: This is an excellent example of what would happen if I owned BTR. Since this isn't how the episode turned out, it's safe to say that I don't own it, huh? **

**Notes: Another old fic that was sitting in my fic folder that I finally got around to finishing. And another fill for the BTR Kink Meme on LJ.**

**Prompt: ****After Pickles tells Carlos he only has 24 hours left to live, he freaks out and builds his panic room. James is too sick to care, Logan is too cool to care, but Kendall takes the time to try and get Carlos out of there. However, Carlos is stubborn and refuses, so Kendall just has a conversation with him through the door. Carlos mentions that he's never had sex before, and Kendall offers to have sex with him before he "dies." Carlos agrees and lets Kendall ****inside, where they have first-time-sex in that sea of pillows in the bathtub.**

**Enjoy. :)**

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><p><strong>La Petite Mort-<strong>

Kendall sighed as the front door closed behind Katie. Logan and James had left just a few minutes before and he had asked Katie to go find out more about the parrot while he made an attempt to talk some sense into Carlos. He knocked on the door and waited as patiently as he could.

"Go away, Katie!"

"It's Kendall."

There was a short beat of silence before Carlos shouted again in the same tone, like he'd known it was Kendall on the other side of the door the whole time. "Go away, Kendall!"

Kendall couldn't help but chuckle softly, shaking his head slightly. "Open up."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want _Death_ to get in _here_!"

Kendall blinked at the door, "What? Death? What are you-?"

"Super Parrot said I had twenty-four hours to live and I'm not taking any chances on Death trying to take me before then," Carlos cuts in, sounding frantic.

"…You do know that Death can still get you even if you're locked in the bathroom, right?" Carlos didn't respond and Kendall sighed, "Carlos, would you just open the door?" His patience was wearing thin fast. He didn't have time to deal with the other boy's stubbornness. He really needed to get to the studio to meet Kelly but he hadn't been able to just leave Carlos like this.

Besides, Katie _really_ wanted to brush her teeth.

"No."

"Open it," Kendall demanded and banged on the door with his fist.

Carlos seems to ignore his order, instead letting out a pathetic, "I don't want to die!"

"Carlos, you're not going to die," he said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to maintain his patience.

"You don't know that." Carlos' voice drifted through the door petulantly and Kendall could just imagine the stubborn pout on the other boy's face. He pushed away the word 'adorable' that came to mind and focused at the task at hand- convincing Carlos he wasn't going to die so his baby sister could brush her teeth.

"Yes, I do. It's just a bird. It can't predict the future." Carlos didn't say anything in response once again and Kendall let out another sigh, "Come on. Let me in, at least."

Carlos was silent for a few more moments before he spoke again, voice sounding closer than before. "Kendall, I'm scared. There are so many things I haven't done yet."

Kendall took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to remain patient with the other boy. "Like what?"

"Like, I've never been to the top of the empire state building, and I'll never get to go mountain climbing or skydiving and I'll never get to drag race down the streets of Tokyo! I don't even know how to drive yet!"

His voice got louder as he spoke until he was practically yelling. Kendall winced and took a step away from the door, "Carlos, calm down, you can still do all that. Well, not the drag racing. That's too dangerous and probably illegal."

Carlos was silent for another moment and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet; Kendall had to strain to hear him, moving closer to the door once more. "I've never been in love."

Kendall swallowed thickly, placing his hand on the door gently, "Carlos."

But Carlos just plunged on, "I've never had a real girlfriend, only a fake one. Girls hate me."

"That's not true."

"Yeah it is. And a guy will never be interested in me either 'cause I'm not pretty like James or cute like Logan or cool like you. No one will ever want me."

That surprised Kendall and he licked his lips quickly before speaking, "I didn't know you liked guys." And that was probably the wrong thing to focus on, seeing as one of his best friends was distressed because he thought he was dying but that was the only part his brain latched on to.

"I don't know if I do or not. I might, though. I've never even really been kissed so how am I supposed to know what I like! I'm going to die a virgin!"

The sudden exclamation had Kendall jumping away from the door, super glad Katie wasn't in the apartment anymore. "Okay, Carlos, seriously, just calm down. How many times do I have to tell you? You're not going to die. You can still do all that. You'll find someone that will love you for who you are," Kendall grabbed onto the doorknob and shook it gently, "Just open the door."

He knew that if he could just get into the bathroom, talk to Carlos face to face, he'd be able to convince him that Super Parrot was just a bird and that it couldn't predict the future.

"I don't want to die a virgin, Kendall! How sucky would that be?"

Kendall's heart ached at Carlos' tone. As ridiculous as it all was, Carlos actually believed he was going to die and it hurt Kendall knowing that Carlos thought that no one had ever wanted him. He let out another sigh, pressing his forehead against the cool wood of the door as he closed his eyes. "If you let me in, then I'll have sex with you," he blurted out, hating himself the second the words left his mouth.

There was a long moment of silence and he wondered if Carlos had even heard him or if he had said the wrong thing. But then he heard the lock turning and the door opened a crack. He blinked and took a small step back as Carlos pressed his face into the small opening of the door, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Are you serious?"

Kendall forced a chuckle, "Yeah, sure. What are friends for, right?"

Carlos seemed to mull it over in his head for a moment and Kendall was sure Carlos was going to call him a perv and slam the door in his face, but instead he opened the door a little wider and reached out, grabbing the front of Kendall's shirt and pulling him in.

Kendall stumbled in as Carlos slammed the door shut behind him and locked the door. Kendall turned to look at Carlos as the other boy stared up at him. "Are we really going to have sex," Carlos asked tentatively after a few moments of silence.

"No!" Kendall threw his arms out with his exclamation, "I just needed you to open the door for me."

"Oh…" Carlos said, looking down and Kendall tried not to read too much into the obvious disappointment in Carlos' tone.

Kendall took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, "Ok, now tell me again why you think you're going to die?"

Carlos sighed, "Well, last night, Super Parrot was helping me get ready for my date and then when I was about to leave he told me I only had 24 hours to live!" Carlos flung his arms out at the end of his explanation, looking at Kendall with wide, frightened eyes.

Kendall frowned, brows furrowed in consternation. It was kind of cute how gullible Carlos was but it also worried him that Carlos could be so easily fooled. "You do realize that parrots only repeat what they hear, right? It probably heard someone say that."

"But he was right about everything else!"

Carlos looked so scared and small, shoulders slumped in defeat still in his suit from the night before. His helmet only made him seem younger.

Kendall's heart ached for the other boy and he let out a sigh, "Come here," he said, opening his arms and beckoning Carlos with a wave of his fingers.

Carlos looked up with wide eyes, brows upturned slightly before he took a step towards Kendall, closing the distance between them. Kendall wrapped his arms around the shorter boy, squeezing him slightly as Carlos pressed his forehead against his shoulder. "You're not going to die, Carlos," he said, leaning down to whisper into the other boy's ear, "Trust me, okay?"

Kendall felt Carlos clutch at the back of his jacket as he nodded against his shoulder. "Okay," he murmured, turning his head to try to rest more comfortably against Kendall's shoulder. His helmet made it almost impossible and Kendall tried not to wince as the hard plastic dug into his shoulder, patting Carlos' back gently.

Carlos let out a small sigh and Kendall shuddered as he felt Carlos' warm breath ghost over his neck and squeezed Carlos again, resting his cheek on top of Carlos' helmeted head. He waited for the moment to get awkward, or for Carlos to pull away, but it never happened. So he just held the other boy knowing he probably wouldn't get another chance to do so any time soon.

A sudden brush of lips against his neck had him pulling away a few moments later though, his breath catching in his throat, "Carlos, what are you…?" the words died in his throat when Carlos pressed forward again, placing another kiss against his neck. Carlos' arms tightened around his waist, holding him close as his mouth opened and Kendall could feel Carlos' tongue flick across his skin.

Kendall swallowed thickly, suppressing a shudder as he placed his hands on Carlos' shoulders and pushed him away. "Carlos, stop." He was surprised when Carlos barely budged and just pressed forward, hands on the blond's shoulders as he pushed Kendall back until his back hit the door.

Kendall gasped out Carlos' name softly as the other boy pressed his mouth against his neck once more, sucking lightly as he tried to push Kendall's jacket off his shoulders. It didn't get far because Carlos had Kendall pressed tight against the door and he let out a small noise of frustration before giving up and sliding his hands down Kendall's chest instead.

Kendall let out a small moan, fingers digging into Carlos' shoulders. His chest tightened as heat pooled low in his stomach. He was only human, and a boy at that, just a teenaged boy with hormones and feelings and a quickly crumbling self-control. Carlos was just right _there_, warm and solid, hands slipping under his shirt, sliding up his sides and across his chest as he trailed hot kisses along his neck and the underside of his jaw.

And Kendall didn't know why he was resisting so much. He hadn't wanted to take advantage of the situation. It would've been easy to use Carlos, take advantage of his fear and desperation. But it was obvious that Carlos was into it, that he wanted this just as much as Kendall did.

Except Kendall knew it wouldn't mean as much to Carlos as it did to him and Kendall didn't want it to be meaningless; he didn't want to just be a conveniently available body for Carlos.

"Please, Kendall," Carlos begged softly, hands gripping Kendall's hips tightly as he pressed close against him.

Kendall groaned softly, closing his eyes tightly. He squeezed Carlos' shoulder briefly before his hands slid across them, one resting against the side of Carlos' neck as he reached up with the other. He pulled Carlos' helmet off his head, letting it fall to the floor before he buried his fingers in Carlos' hair. He gently tilted Carlos' head back, licking his lips quickly as his eyes flicked back and forth between Carlos' eyes and his mouth.

Carlos was breathing heavily, lips parted slightly as he stared up at Kendall, eyes darker than usual. Kendall swallowed thickly, heart hammering in his chest as he swooped down, slotting his lips against Carlos' gently.

Carlos' lips were softer than he thought they would be and they parted for him immediately when he slid his tongue along Carlos' bottom lip. Carlos clung to him, moaning softly, as Kendall licked every inch of Carlos' mouth, hands moving to grab his waist.

He pushed off the door, guiding Carlos back gently as he slid his hand up Carlos' chest to his shoulders, pushing his suit jacket off. Carlos let go of his grip on Kendall's hoodie and let it slide down his arms, tossing it to the side.

Carlos' tugged off Kendall's jacket off afterward then started to push his shirt up, fingertips sliding across the warm skin underneath.

Kendall pulled away, chest heaving as he looked down at Carlos. "Carlos, are you sure?" He looked down at him searchingly, looking for anything that told him that this wasn't what Carlos really wanted.

All he found was lust and want and he knew he should stop anyway but now that he knew what it was like to kiss Carlos, feel Carlos' hands running along his skin, he couldn't.

Carlos nodded, "Yes," he breathed out and Kendall swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing as he nodded as well.

He pulled off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor before he reached for Carlos' tie. He tugged it loose and pulled it over Carlos' head, letting it join his shirt on the floor. He licked his lips and leaned down, kissing Carlos again as he got to work on the buttons of his shirt, nimble fingers freeing each button quickly.

Carlos quickly unbuttoned his cuffs before he stripped his shirt off and Kendall let out a groan of frustration when he realized that Carlos had a t-shirt on underneath. He quickly grabbed the hem of it, and tugged it off roughly, wadding it up in a ball and throwing it down to the floor with more force than necessary.

Afterward, he slid his hands across Carlos' chest and over his shoulders, wanting to touch as much of Carlos' smooth warm skin as possible. Carlos looked up at him, biting his bottom lip as he placed his hands on Kendall's waist, palms sliding up and down his sides.

Kendall shuddered lightly and smiled, leaning down to nudge Carlos' nose with his own. Carlos' lips curled up in a small smile and he tilted his head up towards Kendall's, lifting up on the tip of his toes to press his lips against Kendall's.

Kendall kissed him slowly, hands sliding down Carlos' back to rest on his lower back to pull Carlos closer. He moaned softly as their hips pressed together, feeling Carlos' growing erection pressed against his own.

"Tell me to stop whenever you want and I will," he whispered, staring down at Carlos intently. Carlos nodded his head and Kendall pushed him away gently. "Take off your pants," he ordered as he began to toe off his shoes.

Carlos hesitated a moment before he reached for his belt, tugging on it to free it from his belt loops. He looked up and caught Kendall watching and blushed heavily, turning away in embarrassment as he pushed his pants and underwear down.

Kendall grinned, eyes moving down Carlos' back to his ass and quickly kicked off his pants. He stepped up behind Carlos and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his erection against the small of his back. "Don't be embarrassed," he murmured, dragging his lips along Carlos' neck.

Carlos breathed out heavily, letting out a tiny moan when Kendall slid his hand up his stomach to tweak a nipple gently. His other slid down to wrap around Carlos' dick tightly and Carlos tensed, a loud moan escaping him.

Kendall smirked against his neck, looking down over Carlos' shoulder to watch the slow drag of his hand over Carlos' cock.

Carlos' breathing grew heavy and his hips bucked forward into Kendall's fist as he cried out his name. Kendall smirk grew as he squeezed gently. "Fuck, Kendall, stop," Carlos gasped out, grabbing onto Kendall's wrist tightly.

Kendall stopped immediately, dread welling up in him that he'd done something wrong and Carlos would tell him to stop. He swallowed thickly as he turned his face towards the other boy. "What's the matter?"

He heard Carlos swallow and watched him bite his bottom lip. "I've never…no one's ever touched me before. I don't-"

Kendall's smirk slowly fell back into place and he pressed another kiss to Carlos' jaw. "I'll go slow then. Make it worth your while," he murmured against his skin.

Carlos let out a low moan and grabbed onto Kendall's wrist again, "But I want you to fuck me."

Kendall paused once more and swallowed thickly, desire shooting through his body. "Are you sure?"

Carlos nodded quickly, "Yes." He pressed back against Kendall's body and Kendall groaned, closing his eyes tightly.

"Okay."

Carlos spun around then, looking up at Kendall almost shyly. "Really?"

Kendall licked his lips and nodded, "Yes, if that's what you really want," he breathed out, leaning down. Carlos surged up and crushed his lips to Kendall's almost painfully, arms reaching up to go around Kendall's shoulders.

Kendall let out a muffled groan, one hand grabbing onto Carlos' waist to steady himself as the other cupped Carlos' face gently. He pulled back a little, lightly rubbing Carlos' cheek with his thumb as he tried to make Carlos slow down. "Take it easy," he murmured against his mouth, "There's no rush."

"But De-"

"Shh, I'm right here. I got you. Nothing's going to happen to you," he whispered, fingers carding through Carlos' hair soothingly.

He pressed his lips against Carlos' once more and this time Carlos let Kendall set the pace, lips moving against each other slowly. His tongue slid between Carlos' parted lips and slid along Carlos'. The other boy moaned softly against his mouth, tongue pushing tentatively against Kendall's. Kendall curled his tongue around Carlos' and sucked on it gently before Carlos pulled away.

Carlos brought his hand to his mouth, a look of consternation on his face. "That was weird," he said, brows twitching lightly.

Kendall chuckled and arched an eyebrow. "Bad weird or good weird?"

"Good weird?" Carlos sounded unsure which only made Kendall laugh more, leaning down to kiss him lightly, keeping his tongue out of it this time. He had other things on his mind though as he slowly slid his hand down to cup Carlos' ass. He gave it a small squeeze, not sure how Carlos was going to react and not wanting to freak him out.

The other boy let out a little squeak and Kendall felt him stiffen against him, lips stilling in his surprise. Kendall couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face and he pulled away slightly to look down at Carlos curiously. "You okay?"

Carlos blinked up at him rapidly and nodded, "Y-yeah, I'm fine," he said, face flushing.

Kendall grinned, "You sure?" He slid a finger between Carlos' ass cheeks, running his fingertip against his hole lightly.

Carlos' eyes widened and he jerked out of the way. "What are you doing?"

"That's what you wanted, right? You wanted me to fuck you." Carlos swallowed thickly and stared at Kendall in shock. "Is that what you still want?"

Carlos nodded his head but he doesn't seem as confident as he had before. "Y-yeah," he said, tone shaky.

"Then turn around." The words came out sharper than he intended and Carlos blinked at him quickly, seeming taken aback.

"What?"

"Turn around and place your hands on the wall so I can stretch you," he said as he dug around in the medicine cabinet for the small bottle of lotion there.

A small part of Kendall was hoping that Carlos would back out, say he changed his mind and he didn't want to have sex anymore. A part of him wanted Carlos' first time to be special and with someone that Carlos really cared about. He wanted Carlos to really want _him_ to be his first, not just using Kendall because he was the only one around.

When Carlos only hesitated for a small moment before he did as he was told, turning around and placing his hands against the wall, Kendall couldn't help feeling relieved.

Kendall walked over to him and ran his hands down his back lightly, taking a deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart. He would've liked to take the time to explore Carlos' body, find out what would have him moaning and panting for more.

He let out a small sigh, knowing he didn't have time as he gripped Carlos' hips gently. He could feel Carlos trembling slightly with nerves as he nudged his feet apart until Carlos got the hint and spread his legs.

With another deep breath, Kendall flicked the cap of the lotion open and squeezed some onto his fingers. He rubbed them together, smearing the lotion along his fingers tips, trying to get it warm before he reached down and gently circled Carlos' entrance with his forefinger.

Carlos tensed against the touch and Kendall took a step closer, pressing a kiss against Carlos' shoulder. "Just relax. It's going to feel weird at first but it won't hurt."

Carlos glanced over his shoulder at him and nodded. Carlos took a deep breath as Kendall ran his finger along his entrance once more, pressing in gently.

Carlos tensed again and Kendall pressed another kiss to his neck. He waited until Carlos was relaxed once more before he pushed his finger all the way in. He slowly thrust it in and out of Carlos, crooking it slightly to stretch him before adding another.

When Carlos started to push back against his fingers, inner muscles squeezing tight about the digits as he moaned softly, Kendall knew he was ready. He placed his hand on Carlos' waist as he slowly pulled his fingers out, "Get in the tub," he ordered when Carlos looked back at him questioningly.

Carlos swallowed and nodded, pushing himself away from the wall to turn towards the tub. Kendall turned away to put the lotion back and grab the condom he kept in his wallet from his discarded jeans.

When he turned back, Carlos was trying to fix the pillows so it wouldn't be so awkward to lie in the tub. He lied back against the pillows once they were the way he wanted them and looked up at Kendall, almost child-like as he waited for him.

Kendall chuckled awkwardly, guilt welling up in him as the feeling that he was taking advantage of Carlos came back. He shook it off. It was too late to be having second thoughts.

He climbed into the tub, moving pillows out of the way to make room. It was kind of awkward being surrounded by all the pillows but they were comfortable and would be better than fucking Carlos on the hard floor. The other boy at least deserved something soft to lay on his first time.

Carlos dragged him out of his thoughts by bopping him in the face with one of the smaller pillows. Kendall's eyes narrowed as he scowled lightly but Carlos only grinned at him and did it again.

Kendall growled lightly and snatched the pillow from Carlos' hand, tossing it aside as he lunged at the other boy, pressing him down into the pillows beneath him.

Carlos let out a small yelp and stared up at him in surprise before his lips spread in another grin. "Don't do that," Kendall started to say but Carlos cut him off mid-sentence, grabbing Kendall by the back of the neck and pulled Kendall down for a kiss. Kendall let out a muffle moan and used his hands to brace himself as he moved to settle between Carlos' spread legs.

Kendall sat up a few moments later and quickly rolled on the condom before he leaned over Carlos again, one hand gripping his cock as he guided the tip to Carlos' opening. Carlos squeezed his shoulders as he started to push in and Kendall paused, looking up to see Carlos staring up at him wide-eyed.

He leaned forward to kiss him softly, "It's going to hurt for a little bit. Just tell me to stop if it's too much and I will, okay?"

Carlos nodded shakily, "Okay," he whispered and took a deep breath. "Go ahead. I'm ready."

Kendall smiled and gently pushed in, pausing when Carlos hissed in pain, nails digging into his shoulders as he tensed around him. Kendall bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes briefly to take a deep breath and get himself under control before he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Carlos'. "Just relax. Do you want me to stop?"

Carlos blinked rapidly and shook his head, "No, don't. Keep going."

Kendall nodded and pushed in further, stopping again to let Carlos adjust before pushing in again. It was a slow process and Kendall kissed Carlos through it, hand wrapped around the shorter boy's cock, stroking him slowly to distract him from the pain.

He continued to kiss Carlos even after his hips were pressed flushed against Carlos' ass, not moving to let Carlos get used to the feeling of his cock. Carlos kissed Kendall needily, barely letting Kendall take a breath before he was on him again. His lips moved desperately against Kendall's mouth and Kendall let him take control, let him lick into his mouth and bite at his lips, hands buried in his hair and tugging gently.

Eventually Carlos began to wiggle his hips, insides working around Kendall's dick impatiently. Kendall groaned and pulled away from Carlos' mouth. "Shit, don't do that or this is going to end very quickly," he gasped out.

Carlos looked up at him in confusion and Kendall smiled softly, shaking his head before he began rocking his hips against Carlos', letting him get used to the movement, not wanting to hurt Carlos in anyway even though every instinct was telling him to pound into Carlos- to make him _feel_ this so that no matter who Carlos was with afterward Kendall would always be there, under the surface of everything. He wanted to burrow under Carlos' skin, be the one that Carlos always thought of when he was with someone else.

But as much as Kendall wanted to claim and possess the other boy, he cared too much about Carlos to ruin him in that way.

So Kendall continued to rock against Carlos, dick barely shifting in the other boy's body. It was enough to have them both moaning softly though. Carlos gasped against Kendall's mouth, blunt nails raking across Kendall's shoulders when he managed to brush against Carlos' prostate.

"Right there, Kendall. That feels good," he said, sounding almost surprised by it.

Kendall chuckled breathlessly, nodding and leaned forward to brush his nose against Carlos'. He pushed himself up onto his hands to pull his hips back slightly and then slowly pushed back in, watching Carlos' face for any signs of discomfort. He repeated the action, shifting his angle every time until he found the one that had Carlos throwing his head back and moaning loudly.

Kendall gritted his teeth, Carlos' body squeezing tight around him before he leaned down and kissed Carlos' neck. He placed open mouth kisses along the column of his throat, biting gently on the soft skin and feeling the vibrations of Carlos' moans against his mouth.

He pushed himself back up and slid his hand along Carlos' thighs to grip his hips tightly as he slammed into Carlos unthinkingly. He wanted to slap himself when Carlos cried out, hands clutching to his shoulders tightly.

He started to apologize with what little breath he had, but Carlos just slid his hands down Kendall's back and gripped his ass, fingers digging in hard. "Like that, Kendall. Do it like that," he panted, writhing under Kendall.

Kendall groaned loudly, dropping his head to capture Carlos' bottom lip between his own, sucking on it hard as he pulled his hips back and thrust back in roughly.

Carlos cried out again, "Feels so good," he breathed against Kendall' s mouth, fingers digging into Kendall's lower back.

"You feel amazing," Kendall panted nuzzling the side of Carlos' face. He sat up and grabbed Carlos' legs under the knee, holding them up as he slammed into the boy under him repeatedly, once again searching for the angle that would drive Carlos crazy.

Carlos's eyes squeezed shut when he found it, nails dragging across Kendall's skin. He moaned out Kendall's name over and over, desperate and needy.

"Touch yourself," Kendall said, leaning over the other boy. Carlos' eyes snapped open and he stared up at Kendall in confusion. "Touch yourself, Carlos. I want to see you," he repeated breathlessly.

Carlos nodded shakily and wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking himself hard and fast in time to Kendall's thrusts.

Kendall licked his lips as he watched, biting down on the bottom one to center himself. He was so close, Carlos' body tight and hot, squeezing around him every time he pushed in. "So fucking amazing," he moaned out softly, leaning down to brush his lips against Carlos' cheek.

"Kendall…" Carlos was looking up at him desperately, surprise and wonder lurking beneath. And that was it for Kendall. With Carlos looking up at him like he was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, Kendall bit down on his bottom lip, letting out a strangled groan as he slammed into Carlos hard one last time.

His head fell forward, shoulders slumping as he continued to rock against Carlos, gasping for breath. Carlos was whimpering under him, hand almost a blur as it slid over his cock. Kendall lifted his gaze to watch Carlos fall apart, eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed and bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Kendall wanted to lean over, kiss every inch of flushed and sweaty skin and whisper 'I love you's against it.

But he knew this wasn't about that.

This was just sex for Carlos and as much as it would pain Kendall to walk away after this, knowing that he wouldn't get another chance to be with Carlos like this, it was worth it just to hear the soft whimpers coming from Carlos as he came, the way he gripped onto Kendall's shoulder tightly, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

If he could just memorize this moment, then he might be able to move on after this.

He knew he was only lying to himself. It would be torture, knowing what Carlos tasted like, felt like, but not being able to experience it again.

He pushed the thoughts away and gently pulled out when Carlos relaxed back against the pillows, chest heaving as he gasped for breath. He carefully slid the condom off, climbing out of the tub on shaky legs to throw it away and grab a wet washcloth.

Moving back to kneel by the tub, he wiped Carlos' stomach and chest clean of his come then tossed the cloth to the side. He wanted to climb back into the tub and curl around Carlos, hold him close, if only for a little while. But he still had to go help Kelly with the Gustavo situation so he placed both hands on the side of the tub and tried to get to his feet.

Carlos grabbed onto his wrist at the last second and he looked down at him, "Stay here with me?" Carlos was looking up at him pleadingly and regret filled Kendall knowing that he couldn't.

He sighed and settled back onto the floor, "I can't. I have to go meet Kelly at the studio."

"Oh," Carlos said softly, looking away.

Kendal sighed and squeezed Carlos hand gently, "Come with me. I could use your help."

Carlos looked hesitant and Kendall sighed, "You still think you're going to die, huh?"

Carlos averted his gaze sheepishly so at least Kendall could tell that Carlos knew he was being absurd. "I think I'm just going to wait it out here just to be sure."

Kendall shook his head slightly and sighed again, "Okay, suit yourself."

He shook his hand free from Carlos' and started to get dress, feeling Carlos' eyes on him the entire time. He was pulling on his jacket when he couldn't take it anymore. He turned towards Carlos, still lying naked in the tub. He looked ridiculous surrounded by all the pillows and Kendall almost wanted to laugh.

"So I have to ask," he said instead, tugging on the edge of his hoodie.

Carlos looked up at him questioningly. "Hmm?"

Kendall inhaled deeply, closing his eyes briefly to steel his resolve. "If I had been Logan or James, would you still have had sex with me?"

Carlos blinked in confusion, brows furrowing slightly. "What?"

Kendall sighed, "If James or Logan were the one offering to have sex with you, would have let them in?"

Carlos sat up and looked at him silently, eyes wide in surprise at the question. Kendall held his breath, wishing Carlos' answer wouldn't affect him as much as he knew it would.

Carlos suddenly looked away, "No," he said so softly that Kendall almost didn't hear him.

His heart skipped a beat and he inhaled sharply. "No?"

Carlos shook his head, still looking down in embarrassment. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest, "No. I guess it doesn't matter since I'm going to die anyway." He mumbled the last part to himself and Kendall let out an exasperated sigh, throwing his hands up but Carlos continued before he can say anything. "I like you Kendall."

Kendall stopped, mouth clacking shut as his eyes widened. "You do?"

Carlos nodded, looking at Kendall shyly. "Yeah. I like you more than I like James and Logan and more than I ever liked Stephanie or Sasha."

Kendall stared at Carlos dumbfounded for a moment before a smile broke on his face. Carlos watched him with apprehension as he approached the tub and kneeled down once more. But Kendall's smile only widened as he cupped Carlos' face in both hands and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the tip of Carlos' nose.

Carlos pulled back and blinked at him, "Wha?"

Kendall grinned. "I like you too."

"Really?"

Kendall nodded, "Yup."

Carlos is silent for a moment, looking at Kendall with confusion written all over his face. "But why?"

"For that exact reason," he said, laughing when it only seemed to confuse Carlos more.

"What?"

Kendall chuckled, "We'll talk about this later when I get back. I promise."

"But Kendall-"

"Later," Kendall said firmly, not wanting to hear any more about Death and fortune telling parrots.

Carlos sighed and leaned back against the pillows, "Alright."

Kendall smiled fondly at the other boy before he placed both hands on the edge of the tub and leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. As ridiculous and frustrating as the situation had been, Kendall was glad that Carlos had met that bird and he made a mental note to give it a cracker or something later.

-END

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Reviews would be much appreciated. :)<strong>


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